Perfect Body
by Lunar Usako
Summary: Usagi is devastated by her break up with Mamoru (I know, I know...a breakup fic). She decides to change thinking that's why he broke up with her. But her change turns out to be for the worst. (Deals with eating disorders) Based on the movie
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, even though I wish I did. This fic is based on the movie "Perfect Body" with Amy Jo Johnson. I don't own that movie, either. ^_^ That's how it got the name. Many thanks to Aimee who helped me lots! And now, on to the story...   
  
PERFECT BODY  
chapter 1  
  
'Oh, Mamo-chan, why don't you love me anymore?' Usagi sadly questioned, somehow hoping he could hear her silent plea. Usagi was slowly swirling her chocolate milkshake with a straw, not really paying attention to the worried looks Motoki was sending her. Motoki had been observing her for some time, already. Usagi had been sitting there silently moping for a good half hour and Motoki was getting awfully worried that one of his good friends was in a state of depression.   
'Is it that I'm too ugly? Has he found someone more beautiful and more sophisticated than me? I'll change if that's what it takes, Mamo-chan...anything just to be held by you once more.'  
***flashback***  
Walking up to the arcade counter, Usagi looked up at Mamoru with pleading eyes. "Mamo-chan?" she softly questioned, tears brimming in her eyes. Mamoru slowly turned around, the coldness showing in his eyes.   
"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't call me that, Tsukino-san."  
"But, Mamo-chan, I just need a reason, please! Please, just tell me why you broke up with me..." She looked down at her shoes to try and hide the tears that were threatening to fall.  
Seeing her in a moment of weakness, Mamoru decided his best option to lash out at her and hope she would leave before he completely shattered her heart. "Did you honestly think I would want someone like you? I mean, I can't even have an intellectual conversation with you. You're always whining or stuffing your face. Why would I want an immature baby that's nothing but lazy and a pig? Come to think of it, it's disgusting how you stuff all that food down your throat. Why would I want you?"   
*******  
Usagi looked down at herself and then up at some older girls walking by. 'If only I could look like that, thin and beautiful...'  
Usagi's head snapped up, realization dawning upon her flawless face. 'I'm too fat...that must be it. Mamo-chan wants a beautiful girl, not an ugly, fat one like me.' Staring hatefully at the milkshake in front of her, she pushed it away with a look of disgust.   
Motoki watched her every move carefully, watching with surprise as she pushed the milkshake away from her, with a look of disgust! 'Hey, I made that milkshake! What's wrong with it?' Casually sauntering over to her table, he slid into the seat opposite Usagi and looked at her questioningly. Oblivious to the handsome man seated across from her, Usagi wallowed in self pity. Unnoticed by Usagi, a tear slid down her porcelain cheeks, which was spotted by Motoki.  
"Usagi-chan?" he questioned softly. "Is everything alright, Usagi-chan?"  
Startled out of her reverie, she looked up into the caring eyes of Motoki. "H-hai, Motoki-san. I was just...thinking," she replied without meeting his unwavering gaze.  
Suddenly feeling the slickness on her cheek, she hastily wiped away the tears that had been slipping down her face.   
"Then why are you crying, Usa? You know you can tell me anything, right?"  
"Hai, Moto-chan," she whispered, using the nickname she had given him.  
"So, do you not want the milkshake? I made it the way you like it, is there something wrong with it?"   
"Iie, I just wasn't hungry anymore..." Looking at her watch, she realized she was late for the senshi meeting at the shrine.   
'Boy, is Rei-chan going to be mad!'  
"Moto-chan, I have to go, I'm going to be late for a...a study session I'm having with the girls. Ja ne!" she yelled as she ran out of the arcade, almost bumping into several strangers on her way out.  
Shaking his head, Motoki returned to his duties behind the register, once again resuming the involuntary motion of wiping down the already clean counter, his thoughts on one very blonde teenager.  
  
Usagi walked somlemnly to the shrine, her shoulders slightly drooping and her eyes lacking that shine of joy they always had.   
'I really don't feel like going to Rei-chan's,' she thought sadly, changing her direction towards her own home, where she could ponder over what her next move would be...but for now, she just wanted to be alone in front of her mirror.  
As she entered her house, she realized nobody was home. Strolling through her living room and into the kitchen, she found a small post it note attached to the refrigerator door (AN: I know, cliche, but what can I say? ^_~ ):  
Usagi, your father and I had to go to a business meeting and your brother is at Mika's house. If you need anything, call the cell, okay, buns? See you later,  
sweetie.  
Sighing, she strode up the stairs and into her room, standing in front of her full length mirror. Turning sideways, she rubbed her hand down the flatness of her stomach. Looking lower, her eyes roved along her legs and back up to her arms, which were held outstretched. She noted every little bit of skin that seemed to hang a little loose, mistaking it for fat.   
'God, I'm fat,' she thought, thinking of the many ways she could lose weight. 'Exercise, I need lots of exercise...maybe I could stop eating for a while...then when I'm thin enough, I'll start eating again, but only healthy stuff so I won't get fat again.'  
  
"Gosh, I'm so hungry," she mumbled to herself as she sifted through the refrigerator looking for a few grapes to munch on. 'I can't believe I haven't eaten for three whole days already' she thought, while rummaging through some more cabinets. Groaning, Usagi slumped to the floor, wrapping her arms around her gnawing stomach. Slowly, she stood up, grasping the countertop to balance herself.   
'I need a walk,' she thought. 'Yes, that's it...a walk and a visit to the arcade!' Happy with her solution, she picked up her small pink purse and headed towards the Crown Arcade.   
The walk to the arcade seemed to take longer than usual and when she arrived at her destination, she quickly slumped into the closest booth, which happened to be right next to the stool in which Mamoru was seated, talking to Motoki. Laying her head on the table, she attempted to ignore the loud growling of her stomach. Her eyes stared straight ahead at Mamoru and Motoki talking to eachother as she tried to figure out what they were saying. Regaining her composure and trying to gain some strength, she stood up on shaky legs and began walking over to the counter. The only problem was, before she made it, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fell limply to the floor.  
"MOTOKI!" Mamoru shouted as he jumped off the stool and cradled Usagi's limp form in his arms. "Motoki! Let's take her to the back room of the Arcade!"   
Swiftly picking her up, he walked as fast as he could to the back room, where he deposited her on a small sofa. Softly stroking her forehead, he placed a light butterfly kiss on her lips.   
"You'll be okay, Usako...you just need some rest," he breathed in her ear, while sitting across from her, watching her every move.   
Motoki watched the scene unfolding before his eyes. 'I knew he cared for her, so why is he doing this to her? Why is he doing this to himself?' Shaking his head and muttering something about Mamoru's craziness, he went back to business, knowing Usagi was safe with Mamoru.  
  
Moaning and rubbing her head, Usagi wondered where she was. The small room was cluttered with cardboard boxes and the only sound was that of the clock ticking on the wall. Standing up she slowly made her way to the doorway, only to find out she was still at the Arcade.  
"But how did I get back here?" she asked herself.  
"You fainted so we brought you back here," Mamoru answered coldly. Motoki gave him a slight jab in the ribs for being so rude and tried to soften up the mood.  
"We were worried about you, Usagi-chan. Are you okay? You seem awfully weak."  
"Hai, I'm fine. I'll just be going now," she replied, quickly gathering her things, but was stopped by Mamoru's grip on her arm.  
"You're too weak to go now, you need to eat first. Then, I'll drive you home. You need rest."  
"H-hai, Mamoru-san. Demo, I'm not hungry, so I'll just be on my way now-"  
"Usagi, eat," Mamoru demanded.  
"Fine, Motoki bring me the usual," she stated in a nonchalant tone. Mamoru eyed her carefully the entire time and it didn't seem like he was leaving until she finished eating.  
Motoki finally came out with 2 hamburgers, a large order of french fries, a large coke, and a hot fudge sundae with sprinkles. Usagi eyed the food and all of a sudden felt sick. She was overcome with guilt and felt tears starting to form in her eyes. Blinking them away rapidly, she picked up the first hamburger and proceeded to take a bite. The first bite was heaven, she soon decided. After not eating for three days, her stomach couldn't let her pass up this opportunity. Quickly shoveling all the food down, she placed her hands over her stomach with content and let out a small burp. Realizing what she had just done, she felt disgusted and dirty. Turning her face towards the window so Mamoru and Motoki wouldn't see her, she wiped away a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek.  
Suddenly her face brightened as she remembered a trick one of the girls in her class had told her on how to lose weight and keep it off.   
'I remember when Aneko asked me if I did it...saying she wanted my body, she was crazy if she wanted MY body! That's what I'll do...Aneko, you're a genius!'  
And for the first time that day, she truly smiled, never knowing the danger that lurked ahead.  
"Excuse me, Mamoru-san, Moto-chan, but I have to uh..use the bathroom. I'll be right back!" she exclaimed joyfully, proud of herself for thinking of what she was about to do next. Cautiously opening the bathroom door, she squatted down, making sure she was alone and closed the stall door behind her. Looking down into the toilet, she suddenly felt nervous and began playing with the hem of her skirt. Gathering her courage, she opened her mouth and stuck in two fingers, gagging herself, which in turn caused her to vomit the entire meal she had just eaten. Walking out of the stall, feeling better about herself, she stepped in front of the sink and began rinsing her mouth to get rid of the awful taste left in her mouth.  
Stepping out of the bathroom, Usagi felt ten times happier, knowing that now she could eat whatever she pleased and never gain a pound, all she could do was lose weight now! Waving a cheerful goodbye to Motoki and Mamoru, she skipped out of the Arcade, not noticing the weird looks she received from both men.  
The first few pounds she dropped were barely noticeable, and she began feeling better about herself in an odd way. But every morning she would look in her mirror and want to drop more and more weight, until it soon became an obsession.  
  
Carefully clutching her books to her chest, Usagi slowly walked to school, feeling a little lightheaded. Little did she know, she was closely being watched by Luna, who had noticed a change in her charge. Luna knew there was something wrong with Usagi and noted that she seemed to be thinning out more than she should be. The only problem was, what could she do? At the moment, the only thing she knew to do was to call a senshi meeting, minus Sailor Moon.   
  
As the lunch bell rang at school, Usagi ran to the usual spot under the big oak tree, awaiting her friends. When Makoto, Ami, and Minako showed up, Usagi pulled out her lunch, putting on a façade of gobbling down her lunch as quickly as possible. Feeling fat and guilty, Usagi excused herself and dashed towards the bathroom, where she could relieve herself of these feelings.  
"Ami, have you noticed anything different about Usagi-chan?" Makoto inquired to the blue haired genius.  
"Well, she does seem to be more quiet and...well, yes, there is something different about her, but I can't quite place my finger on it. Maybe she's-"  
"Too thin," Minako cut in softly. "She's too thin, minna. Have you taken a good look at her? Her eyes are sunken in and I can see the bones of her arms. Minna, something's really wrong with Usagi-chan and we can't help her!" she cried.  
  
Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Usagi felt like crying. 'Mamo-chan, is this how you want me to look? IS IT?' she screamed mentally. She felt like punching the mirror, but instead, she let her first instinct take over...and so, she cried. 


	2. Chapter 2

The following week continued as usual. Usagi got up, ran out of the house before breakfast and threw up the meals she consumed throughout the day. Once again, escaping a detention from the fact that she left the house early to skip breakfast, Usagi walked to the arcade. As she approached the entrance, the sliding glass doors hummed as they opened, welcoming her to one of the most popular hangouts of the local neighborhood. Upon her entrance, several heads looked up, aware of her prescence.  
"Usagi-chan!" screamed out Makoto, waving her over to their usual booth. Waving and giving Makoto a small smile, she strolled over and sat next to Rei. "Hey, minna. Are we having a meeting later?"   
"Hai, we're going to go to Rei's temple around five or six," Ami replied, not looking up from the chemistry textbook sprawled in front of her.  
"I'm starved, where's Motoki-san?" questioned Minako from her corner of the booth, carefully eyeing Usagi. Quickly spotting Motoki, she motioned him to come over to take their orders.  
"What will it be, girls?" he asked as he whipped out his pad and pen.   
"I want a burger, fries, and a strawberry milkshake," Minako replied, giving Motoki a flirtatious smile.  
Makoto, being seated next to Minako, decided she would order next. "I want a hot dog with cheese fries and a coke."  
"I want a cup of some strawberry froze yogurt," piped up Ami from behind Rei.  
"And you, Rei?" asked Motoki, flipping to the next page of his pad.  
"I want a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke."  
"Usagi-chan? What are you getting today? The usual?"  
"Eh..iie, Moto-chan. I just want a diet coke."  
For a moment, the whole table sat in complete silence.  
"Alright, minna. I'll be back with your oders soon!" Motoki exclaimed, trying to break the ice.  
"Are you alright, Usagi-chan? Just a diet coke?" inquired Rei, looking at her best friend with worry written all over her face.  
"Geez, Rei-chan! I can't order a diet coke?" she exclaimed with a slight tinge of anger. Turning away from her friends, she gazed longingly at Mamoru, his back to her. He was quietly talking to Motoki and suddenly spun around in his stool and stared straight into her eyes. Stunned, that she had been caught, she swiftly stood up and excused herself.  
"I'll be right back, minna, I just have to use the bathroom real quick."  
Ami was the first to reply. "Okay, Usa-chan. We'll hold your soda for you."  
She mumbled a quick thanks and walked off.  
******  
"What do you mean she only ordered a diet coke?" Mamoru asked Motoki, confusion written upon his face.  
"Mamoru, haven't you noticed? Everytime she comes here she either orders only water or she goes straight to the bathroom after she eats. I think there's something wrong, Mamoru. Look at how thin she is. I'm worried."  
"You're not saying that..?"  
"Listen, Mamoru. I'm not saying anything. I'm just... worried, okay? Just keep an eye on things and maybe you can talk to her."  
"Alright, Motoki. Thanks for letting me know."  
"No problem, man. That's what friends are for."  
******  
Upon reaching the bathroom, Usagi began to look under the stalls and make sure there was nobody around. Feeling disgusted with herself, Usagi tried to make herself feel clean the only way she thought she could. And so, her daily ritual of having her fingers tango with the back of her throat began...  
******  
Motoki walked back to Mamoru after taking the girls' orders to their table. "Mamoru, the girls and I have been talking... and Usagi's been in the bathroom for quite a while. Could you go check on her? I know it's a girls' restroom, but afterall, this is MY arcade. Please, you're the only one who would be able to help her. We all have an idea of what's going on, but we don't know what to do. Go to her, Mamoru."  
Worry etched its way onto his face, the thoughts of his Usako doing those horrid things to herself making him want to kick himself.  
'If only I hadn't said those things to her,' he thought as he raced to the girls' restroom.  
Quietly opening the door, he heard gagging noises coming from the last stall. With his stomach tying up in knots, he noiselessly approached the stall and pushed it open, coming face to face with his Usako who sat on the floor, hunched over the toilet bowl.   
"USAKO!" he screamed, falling to his knees. Snapping her head up, eyes wide with fear, she scrunched herself into the corner of the stall, tears beginning to leak out of her eyes.  
"Mamo..Mamo-chan?" she asked, sobs escaping her frail form.  
Scooting closer to her, he enveloped her tiny body in a secure embrace. "Usako, why are you doing this to yourself? Why, Usako? You were beautiful as you were."  
He began rocking her back and forth as he, himself began to silently cry. 


End file.
